When I was in 8th grade I started eyeing this girl. I asked her to go out with me and she proceeded to turn me down. As devastating as it was, I was determined to not give up. When we got to 9th grade I asked her out again. She couldn’t resist my persistence this time and she said YES!
This was the start of an eight year relationship through High School and college. We were best friends. We experienced the highs and lows of life together. We did everything together. We ended up at Simpson University for our freshman year of college. Our second year I went to William Jessup University and she went to Sacramento State. I proposed to her in 2006 on a cloudy Friday afternoon in a park in Rocklin, CA. She said YES! We got married in July of 2007. When we got married people always told us to enjoy the “honeymoon” phase of marriage. We didn’t understand what that meant. Getting married was a natural next step for us. I was marrying my best friend, the one that knew everything about me. It didn’t feel like a major change, to us we further strengthened our relationship.
There are many different approaches to marriage. We (Kacee and myself) choose to look at marriage as a partnership. A bond between two people that exist to do life as a team. The biblical view of marriage is that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. I am the head of the household but being head of the household does not mean being the commander of my family. Somewhere this got skewed.
Men and women can have very stereotypical roles in a relationship. Men go to work to earn money and women stay home to raise the children. Kacee and I have flipped these roles a couple times. I have no problem waking up at night to change diapers, spend an afternoon cleaning the bathroom, or doing the laundry. I love to be an active role in my daughters life and helping them see what kind of man to look for when they get older. I didn’t have a problem when I was a stay at home dad with Hannah while Kacee went to work. I learned how to balance taking care of a newborn and running a business from my home office. I know that our roles in our marriage are to be team players. Team players are viewed as equals.
“Happy wife happy life” is a myth. Marriage involves compromise and that doesn’t mean the man exists to walk on eggshells. Some people might be thinking right now, “Does he know what he’s saying? Is he crazy? I hope he likes the couch!” My wife proofed this blog before I posted it.
I am writing this blog at a very interesting time in the life of my family. 19 months ago we welcomed my twin daughters into our family. I have had many conversations with other husbands about how I get up at night and help with the babies. In my opinion I was an equal participant in deciding to have more children so leaving the burden of sleepless nights to my wife seems unfair. While I have to get up and go to work regardless of how much sleep I get, Kacee does the same when she gets up and is with all three kids.
Marriage is a partnership. Its a relationship that was created for men and women to do life together. No one likes to operate alone. I applaud single parents who are getting it done. It takes a team to raise children. I love my team!