Sometimes boundaries are misunderstood. We think that saying no to things is going to somehow make us look like a bad person. When it comes to our kids, its even worse. We want them to be in everything so they are somehow better equipped to take on the world. My wife and I run a music studio in Woodland ,CA called Musictown Studio. I answer phone calls daily that include parents trying to fit music lessons between scouts, swimming, baseball, and gymnastics. Adults do the same thing. We have somehow become a culture that praises busy as a form of status. We answer the question,”How are you doing?” with “Busy”.
I want to encourage you of something. Busy is not a good thing. It is okay and empowering to say no to something. I am in an interesting phase of life right now. My oldest child started Kindergarten and my twins started Pre-School. Kacee and I have had many conversations with people about putting our kids in dance, sports, Awana (church program), and hangouts at friend’s houses. When you couple these things with homework, sleep, and the desire to hangout with your own kids the latter tends to get lost. Society should not be raising your kids. You should be raising your kids. Here’s the thing: it starts with you. If your kids see you as busy or as absent thats going to play into how they view their own schedule. Decide what’s important to you and go all in on whatever that is. I travel a lot doing music all over the country and when I am gone it can be for days at a time. I counter that when I am home with being available. I will pick my kids up from school, we go on surprise dates, and I work hard to be at all their important life events. I am not perfect by any means. Its a daily struggle to fight what society says is a normal thing.
My encouragement to you is to take your schedule back. Next time someone says, “How are you” try answering them with something other than “Busy” or “Good”. Boundaries are healthy. I am giving you permission to not be busy.